Freedom is a state of mind

When I was a kid, my stepfather used to play the soundtrack to “Shenandoah" over and over again. Of course, I now know every single word to every single song on that soundtrack! During one of my recent walks, I was hearing the lyrics to the song "Freedom" over and over again.

Freedom ain't a state like Maine or Virginia
Freedom ain't across some county line
Freedom is a flame that burns within ya
Freedom's in the state of mind

Freedom is, to me, something that I’ve always had. An innate sense of self apart from anyone else’s approval. Knowing exactly who I am and what I want and this has never wavered throughout college, marriage, my long career or the birth of my children. I’ve been made fun of, laughed at, told I am weird, told I am different, told that I am “unique” and that I march to the beat of a different drummer and guess what? It's all true. I am happy to be who I am because I am who I TRULY am.  There is no mask that I wear. I am who I truly am. Not what is comfortable or acceptable to others or what others think I should be. If I like something, I wear it. I don't ask anyone else their opinion because if I like it, it's good enough to wear.

That, to me, is absolute freedom.

I constantly hear people say things like “I could never do that, my husband/boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other would never allow that!” Really? Does being in a relationship/marriage/partnership mean you give away all your power and are rendered unable to make a decision on your own or that your decision/thought doesn't count? I know I have never said/thought that in all of my 40-something years and I have had many relationships. These people say this about such simple things like playing soccer, going to Bali, naming a child, starting a new job-really very basic things.

When a person tries to control you, it’s a bad relationship. When you give up all your power, you are putting yourself at a real disadvantage. When you don’t cultivate any friendships outside your relationship, you are left friendless when it ends.

Do you want to be on your deathbed and realize that you never did anything that you really wanted to do because you thought others would judge you, not accept you, not "let" you? I think if you are truly honest, the answer is NO.

It’s never too late to allow yourself to be who you truly are. Start living.